and entering

Folklore and Myth Concentrator Excited to Begin Thesis on "The Female Orgasm"

Cambridge, MA- Folklore and Mythology concentrator Vince Willendorf has recently expressed excitement for senior year and beginning of his largest academic project to date.
"Folklore and Myth has just taught me so much. It's exciting to apply my learning to the modern myths of our day" said Willendorf. "Like El Chupacabra and the Yeti, the 'Female Orgasm" is a superstition still believed in some areas of the world."
"This mythical orgasm," Willendorf went on to explain, "is similar to that of the scientifically proven male orgasm, but is said to occur in 'females.' It is unclear where primitives base this belief, when females obviously lack a penis and thereby lack innate political rights and sexual pleasure. This lack of sexual pleasure leads to "penis envy,' which is the only possible reason why girls would not want to talk to a  young academic of budding potential, though my mother says it's because I slouch."
Expertise like Willendorf's does not come easy however, as Willendorf first developed a research interest in orgasms when he was just twelve years old. 
"He used to spend hours upon hours in his bedroom studying" said the proud Nancy Willendorf, Vince's mother. "He used to work so hard that sometimes he would lock the doors, even moaning in frustration when reading a particularly difficult text."
The hard rigor of his lengthy study paid off for Willendorf, who impressed Harvard professors with his experience and dedication over his undergraduate career. From his published articles "Won't that Get Stuck?" and "You're Still a Virgin if it's in the Butt," to his outstanding field research in the Owl basement, Willendorf has established his presence as a sexual force on Harvard's tender, moist campus.

Leverett junior and girlfriend of Willendorf, Juliette Nyman, declined to comment, but that may be because she could not stop crying.

© 2014