CAMBRIDGE, MA-- Inspired by student-initiated discussion of mental health in regard to the "Harvard Condition” and previously successful “Pet Therapy” fairs, Harvard held its first semi-annual Human Therapy Fair in the Science Center Plaza last Friday.

“Pet Therapy animals are great, but are they really helping cure The Harvard Condition with anything other than a quirky selfie?” director of the Human Therapy Initiative Linda Bronson probed the crowd at the opening ceremony. “Today, we’ve replaced pugs with Psychoanalysts and corgis with Cognitive Behavioral Therapists. I’m excited to see where this change takes us.”

Bronson prepared to cut the ceremonial ribbon, which separated the Human Therapists from a crowd of bedraggled, over-worked students, who began to grow restless as they fought to the front. “I’m not waiting for 4 hours like I did at Health Services!” a student shouted from the crowd.

Bronson quickly calmed the students using deep-breathing techniques and reminded them that everyone would get their turn, and that students could always come by for a five-minute quickie between classes.

Once the crowd was pacified and the ribbon was cut, the festivities commenced. A vast showing of Human Therapists was presented; most students swarmed to the many “Talking Therapy” stations, while a few daring individuals headed to more obscure forms of treatment, such as “Exposure Therapy” and “Electro Convulsive Therapy.” 

Eleanor Trebson ’18 has suffered from the Harvard Condition since first being asked “What are you doing this summer?” in September of her freshman year. “This event is a step in the right direction for the community, and for me personally,” she smiled. “At the Nerve Doctor station, the doctor told me that with the right combination of electricity and a fatty diet, I should be back to pre-Harvard me in no time… I can’t wait!”