and entering

Hey! It’s Me, Jigsaw. Take This Survey For My Final Paper If You Want to Live :)

Jigsaw from the movie Saw on a bicycle
Let's play a survey

Hi all! It’s me, Jigsaw, from the movie, Saw. Just popping into the GroupMe that you muted six months ago to collect some data for my final Expos paper! If you take my survey, you’ll be entered into a raffle to win one of five teeth I pulled from the victims–ahem, respondents of my club's satisfaction form last semester :)


1. What do you think of our school’s policies on the environment, the government, money, torture, politics, and that annoying guy across the hall?

     a. Just right! :)

     b. Need to be changed! :(

     c. Did you say torture?

2. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

    a. Vanilla

    b. Mint Chip

    c. I didn’t remember the yard being this poorly lit at night. It feels like I’m being watched. Is that a cloaked figure in the bushes? I better walk by and investigate. Oh good, just a trusty Common Hibiscus. Wait! Who are you?! AAHAHAHHAA–

3. Hello Rebecca, I’d like to play a game.

    a. That’s not me!

4. Wait, that’s not you? Shit. *shuffles files* Oh, okay here we go. Finals brain, you know? :) You’re Sam, right?

    a. Yeah, I’m Sam.

5. Hello Sam. I’d like to play a game. Last Tuesday, You pulled out the laundry from all the dryers and mixed everyones’ clothes together so the entire building would accuse each other of being snakes and stealing each other’s laundry. Now, your fate lies in the web you have woven.

    a. What does that mean?!

6. Before you are twenty washing machines. Within each washing machine are twenty snakes. Within each of the snakes are twenty keys. One of the keys unlocks the dryer which is currently spinning around with twenty syringes. One of the syringes contains the antidote to the poison in your system. On top of all of this, you have only twenty minutes to submit your final exam. The final is worth 100% of your grade. The class is the last one you need to pass in order to graduate. The clock is ticking. The choice is yours.

    a. I guess I have to play the game. I open the first washer. At least the snakes are friendly. OUCH NO THEY AREN'T OH SO MUCH BLOOD

    b. I consult the helpful email from my Resident Dean :) It’s most important to be compliant with the honor code during these stressful times :)

7. What about that final, huh? Bet you probably feel like submitting plagiarized content..

    a. Never! I am familiar with the College’s policies with plagiarism and will not risk my standing with the school.

    b. Hmmmm…. maybe, but it’s probably better not to cheat

8. I mean, I’m Jigsaw. I’m not the most moral person out there, but it probably wouldn't be the worst if you copy pasted just a little bit. The exam is important after all…

    a. okay , you’re right. It probably isn’t too bad if I cheat just a little bit.

9. GOTCHA, YOU LOSE THE GAME. Your academic integrity was the real test at hand! :)



This message was brought to you by the Harvard College Honor Council. Even in times of great stress like finals or torturous horror movie-esque death traps, it is always important NEVER to cheat or plagiarize. Try to get a good night’s sleep before your exam, and remember you got this!



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