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Hundreds Join Divest Protest as Final Attempt to Shut Down Yardfest

Larry Bacow was not spotted at Yardfest 2019

CAMBRIDGE, MA - On Sunday, as Harvard students filled the Yard to watch Kiiara and Bazzi perform at Yardfest, the Divest Harvard and Harvard Prison Divestment Campaigns held a rally with a record breaking number of people in attendance. The high turnout was not actually in support of the divestment effort, but rather in an effort to shut down the music festival, as the divestment groups had done to President Larry Bacow’s talk earlier in the week.

Many students decided to protest solely because they didn’t want to see the headliners perform. “Yeah I don’t know what divestment is. I just wanted Yardfest to be shut down and nothing else was working,” said protester James McCormick ‘19. “First I tried to stop Kiiara from coming by dangling a little piece of silver in front of her, but apparently she only likes gold, so that didn’t work.”

McCormick had a plan for Bazzi as well. “I tried finding him so I could kidnap him and hide him in the quad somewhere, but I literally had no idea what he looked like. Anyways, when I heard about the divestment groups shutting down Bacow’s talk, I talked to my blockmate Bobby who’s in HPDC and was like, ‘help a brother out’.”

Other protesters had different reasons for joining in. “I just found the divestment chants to be much catchier than the strange whale-like noises Kiiara seemed to be making,” said student Jordan Craig ‘20. “That one part when they rhymed divest and Yardfest just got me going.”

At press time, Bazzi announced that he responds to chants of approval from adoring fans, not demands.

© 2019