The Harvard Ichthus has once again apologized for offending any “Jew-lovers” for “something that like, maybe could have been a little offensive.”

“I know that the passages sound bad,” said Ichthus president Carl Hanke. “I know that phrases like ‘those money-grubbing Jews’ and ‘I am against (or as the Latins would say, anti) the progeny of the biblical character Shem. That is, 'people known as semites’ could be construed to sound anti-Semitic, but if you read the rest of the post—yeah, the one we took down that you can't read—then you can see that it was really a well-nuanced argument against consumerist culture.”

 This is actually the second allegedly anti-Semitic piece discovered on the site in the past week, following an apology issued last Saturday.

 “It turns out they say this stuff all the time,” noted Harvard junior Timothy Wang, “it’s just that no one reads The Ichthus so no one ever finds out.”

The Crimson staff has reportedly been crippled by the over-abundance of material for articles.

 “Holy shit,” said Crimson editor Stan Stanton. “After this scandal hit we took a look at their website and—holy shit!”

 “It’s a complete overload,” noted fellow editor Paul Paulson, “From “Why Can’t We Own People Anymore” to “What’s Up With Those Weird Scarf Things”, these guys are offending everybody. They even call all Australians gay for using machetes. I dunno, they think it’s too similar to a giant sharp metal penis or something,” 

 Crimson staff are reportedly working full force to cover the scandal, being sure to keep up with linking other articles in practically every other sentence. Reports say they will even be “coordinating this shit ‘til reading period."