and entering

Jess & PusFace for A Cleaner UC

The best candidates for the job.

We are so excited to announce the winner of the UC Presidential Election: Jess & PusFace! Thank you to all who voted, and we look forward to the much-needed change these two will bring to our campus.

1. Wasted Funds. Reallocate the $200 student activities fee from all undergraduate students to cover PusFace's intensive medical care. 

2. Community & Immunity. Create a Multi-Coagulate Center for the mingling of biles to boost campus immunity.

3. Self-Care. Shorter wait times for CAMHS, because PusFace is suffering from severe ostracization and needs to see someone stat.  

4. Divestment. Push for administration to disclose and divest from fossil fuels because the smog is bad for PusFace's infection. 

5. Study Spaces. Quarantine Pusey Library for personal study space of an unnamed member of the ticket. 

6. Reform House Culture. Institute a mandatory training for all upperclassman on the non-contagious aspects of PusFace’s infection. Honestly, it’s really rude to avoid him like that. 

7. Less Pus. Reopen overnight urgent care because PusFace has an infection and needs to see someone stat.

8. Sustainability. Add compost bins in every campus building because PusFace needs somewhere to dispose of his paper bag masks.

9. Overall Commitment to Infection and Befouling Inclusion and Belonging


With Love,

© 2019