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Student Devastated After Hot TF Won’t Put Out Post-Faculty Dinner

What began as a seemingly perfect date night ended in utter tragedy this past Tuesday night as Kirkland Sophomore Jeremiah Fisler came to the realization that Sarah Silverson, his 27 year-old Sex and the Citizen TF, would not put out – even after two glasses of Kirkland’s finest Chateau Domaine de I’Eglise.

Fisler ensured that his extending an invitation to Silverson was not simply a ploy to bring up his less than satisfactory C- in the class, claiming that he honestly loved Sarah and was honored to be able to spend any time with her, if only for one night.

Understandably, Fisler appeared quite dejected after failing to even step into the batter’s box on a night that had promised so much more. 

“Not even a hug? What am I…chopped liver? Fisler vented, “And to think, I showed up to every 10am section exactly seven minutes after the hour just to prove to her that I never come to soon.” 

Surprisingly, Silverson was unimpressed with Fisler’s numerous attempts to get her in the mood. She didn’t even bat an eyelash when the Kirkland resident forked his peas into the shape of a large phallus. 

“I found the whole thing a little strange,” the Extension School graduate commented, “I much prefer Jeremiah’s ideal conceptualization of the male penis in society to an exact representation of his own.”

Fisler is currently seeking signatures for a petition to add a question to the Course Evals tool rating a TF’s interest in “extracurricular interaction”.

“I just don’t want other students to make the same mistake I did. A TF can only break so many hearts…”

 
© 2013
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