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This The Week I Get My Life Together, Announces Roommate For Eighth Time This Semester

Allan's mood briefly improved as she considered her new and improved future prospects, before the crushing facts of reality set in once again

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Reaffirming reports that have circulated since January, Kate Allan '19 announced earlier today that this week would be the one where she "catches up on work and gets [her] life back on track."

Over a hasty Flyby lunch, the sophomore elaborated, "Yeah, these past few days have been absolute hell, but I just need to make to Friday. Then I'll finally have time to do all the club and job search stuff I've been putting off. Oh, wait, I need to finish my pset first. Fuck. The online quiz is due MONDAY?"

Blockmates George Purdue '19 and Anna Suarez '19 independently confirmed that this would be the eighth time Allan had vowed to start eating healthier and stop sleeping with all her laundry on her bed because she was too lazy to fold it.

"To be honest, I always double book our plans to grab dinner on my Gcal," Suarez admitted. "It's not like Kate's going to get her shit together before reading period, anyway."

At press time, Allan was spotted emailing a Doodle poll to her Tinder date titled, "I'm soooo sorry, can we reschedule? :("

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