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Entire Human Race Winces as Sarah Decides to Block with Boyfriend

EARTH - Earlier this week, the entirety of the human species collectively cringed following an announcement from Grays freshman Sarah McKay, in which she revealed her plans to block with her boyfriend of two months, Chris Summers ‘22. “I just think Chris would make a great addition to our group,” she declared, hours before the blocking deadline.

Responses to Sarah’s decision have been coming in from around the globe. In an unprecedented move of unity, the governments of all 193 member states of the UN released a joint statement titled ‘Alright, Who’s Gonna Tell Her?’