CAMBRIDGE, MA -- 1,562 Harvard seniors awoke to a very exciting Thursday morning email. "Upon viewing your lackluster academic records and history of mediocrity, we are honored to announce that you have been elected to the Definitely Not PBK Society."
"We think everyone deserves an award," a PBK spokesperson said. "It's just that this award means you are not special in any way, shape, or form, and cannot join our club."