and entering

How to Stay in Character As a Pilgrim On a Quarantined Mayflower Cruise

"Scurvy schmurvy! Right, my good and well patrons?"

Are you quarantined? On a cruise ship? While acting as religious refugees fleeing Europe for the New World in a small boat? If the answers to these three questions are correct, then we may be able to help!


The COVID-19 pandemic has had rippling effects in the cruise industry as crew members suffer from less protections than passengers. Among those hit hardest are the thirty crew members of the Mayflower Immersive Cruise Experience, who, in their fifteenth day on what was supposed to be a two hour cruise, are finding it increasingly difficult to continue acting as fifteenth century religious refugees.


Though we all love our work, it is ultimately still work. Which makes it more important than your life. Martha may have broken her collarbone, but splinting the break would have compromised her modesty, which no good Puritan would have condoned. Concocting a paste of salt fish and beer is the correct treatment, as it can be ingested with no removal of clothing. Similarly, resist the temptation to ingest anything but beer and salt fish. We cannot restock the ship as there is no way to do so without the knowledge of the passengers. The Mayflower did not make contact with any other vessels on its 66 day journey, and you are only on day fifteen. Scurvy is not a cause for a concern. If anything, it makes the journey more authentic.


Of course unexpected things can happen on these family catered experiences – a baby crying excessively, a forty year old white dude eyeing one of the maidens, and a worldwide pandemic. These are not conflicts with the story, they are part of the story. Perhaps that baby knows it will be one of the 50% of kids who succumb to cholera in the fifteenth century! That man’s behavior is honestly pretty historically accurate! The worldwide pandemic is simply another plague, and through the grace of God and excessive leeching we will make it through.


As is the case with any period acting, some smarty-pants might try and get you to break character. Take a deep breath, hunch over (remember people were shorter back then), and remember your psyche. When that one family tried to call their relatives on an iPhone, Carol leapt into action. She accused them of witchcraft and then burned them at the stake. A perfect medium rare. This also takes care of that rations shortage we had earlier, right? Some problems are solutions in disguise. Another instance of trying to trip you up: not being white. How do you act towards that Asian kid in the back if ~Great~ Britain has not yet invented Asia? Not to worry, the otherwise white audience will act problematic enough for you. Just tell them you heard a cough.

© 2020