Look, I’m no economics concentrator, okay? I didn’t come to Harvard to become some soulless money-driven corporate drone. I only took Ec10 because during shopping week I just went to the classes all the other freshmen went to.

Anyway, I am the first person to tell you how unfair and unethical capitalism can be. Just look at the income gap! I could go on for hours. Really. But I have to admit, when I read Professor Greg Mankiw’s defense of price gouging Hamilton tickets in The New York Times, I thought about Harvard-Yale tickets, and the lightbulb flicked on. People were going to be desperate and willing to pay big bucks for the biggest event of the year.

Now, would I compromise my principles for money? Of course not. But do I really need the money? Yes, I do. So I put an ad on Facebook offering to sell my ticket with “price on request,” and lo and behold, Professor Mankiw himself responded. When he offered me $90, I was pleasantly surprised.

It sounded good at first, but then I remembered that flat screen TV my roommates and I were thinking of getting, so I decided to ask for $2500. I know that might seem like a bit of a markup, but I figured for a man of $48 million in textbook royalties, the price was reasonable. Income equality is all about redistribution, right? To my surprise, Professor Mankiw accused me of unethical price gouging and stated that he wasn’t going to pay some dumb freshman that much money. Turns out, after buying thousands and thousands of dollars worth of Hamilton tickets for his family and friends, Mankiw was feeling a little less generous than usual.

As a student committed to social justice, I decided to generously lower my price to $2400. Mankiw agreed - still reluctantly, despite my generosity - and I felt an amazing rush of power at the thought of 2400 dollars of pure profit dropping into my bank account. This would be a huge step forward in my Sunday football watching - I mean, the fight against income inequality.

During the next (guest) lecture, Professor Mankiw took to the stage to make an announcement, startling many Ec10 students who had forgotten that Mankiw teaches the class.

“Sadly, I feel that students do not understand the ethics needed in economics,” Mankiw stated. “I myself was recently the victim of extreme economic greed. As your professor, I feel a duty and responsibility to make sure each and every one of you understands why this is a problem. As personal compensation for my situation and as an economic lesson, I will therefore be charging each student a mandatory $30 fee. Thank you and see you guys at my next lecture in three months!”