and entering

Let's Get This Party Popping

This party's about to pop off!
Hello there. You seem a little down. I know it can be disappointing when none of your friends show up to your birthday party. But never fear, buddy. It's not you. You see, the problem's that this party isn't popping enough. Chips, really? Your snack offerings leave a lot to be desired. 

I know just the thing you need, pal, the thing that will bring all of your friends to the party guaranteed. You need to get this party popping, and there is no better way to do so than Orville Redenbacher's Original Popcorn™. 

Open that microfridge door, stick that popcorn bag in, and in two to four minutes, the intoxicating aroma of my specially grown popcorn kernels will permeate every part of your home. Our trademarked blend of chemicals ensures that the stench of fake butter lingers as long as is scientifically possible. Your friends will come rushing in!
If you want to get fancy, I'd even recommend one of our Hot Air Poppers™ and the accompanying Gourmet Kernels™ (available in Original and White Corn). And if you want even more excitement, may I suggest my Sweet & Savory collection™? Everyone could always use a little more spice in their life, if you're picking up what I'm throwing down. 

You deserve better, mi amigo. You deserve Orville Redenbacher™. The fluffy, fresh taste will guarantee that yours is the most popping party!

Your friend,

P.S. Throw that SkinnyPop shit away—no wonder you don't have any friends. 
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