Hello there. You seem a little down. I know it can be disappointing when none of your friends show up to your birthday party. But never fear, buddy. It's not you. You see, the problem's that this party isn't popping enough. Chips, really? Your snack offerings leave a lot to be desired.
I know just the thing you need, pal, the thing that will bring all of your friends to the party guaranteed. You need to get this party popping, and there is no better way to do so than Orville Redenbacher's Original Popcorn™.