and entering

No Thanks

I know I was a hand-me-down gift from your cousin who graduated from college in 2004, but sometimes I just can't do it for you.
by Your Printer
Dear Michaela,
I am writing this to let you know that I received your request to print your eight page research paper a few minutes ago, but that I have been having some serious second thoughts about printing it for you. While I have worked for you on occasion in the past, I think it may be best for our relationship to take a short hiatus. I think it is important that this hiatus start right now, and end in four hours, after your paper is due.
Thanks for thinking of me, though, I do appreciate the request - it’s just that today is really not a great day for me. As you can see on my 1x1 inch display, I’m going through a lot of esoteric and complicated problems right now. I really just need time to work through my own issues before I can even think about solving anyone else’s.
I’m sure you could find another printer that would be willing to do this for you right now, because I simply can’t muster up the energy to do this. I’m tired. I’m hungry. I haven’t gotten my ink replaced in two weeks. And yesterday, your roommate Tracy stepped on me. So I’m really not in a good place right now, and I need you to acknowledge that.
But when I do finally become operational again, I’ll print out your paper an additional 15 times, just like you requested.
Your Printer
This message was found at the foot of the printer this morning instead of Michaela’s eight page research paper.
© 2016