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Lassonde Announces Free Quincy Storage "Up Your Own Ass"

Cambridge, MA--- In what he calls “an exciting development,” Dean of Student Life Stephen Lassonde has announced a solution to the conundrum posed by the recent renovation of Quincy House under which, until today, students would not have been provided with free on-campus summer storage space.

“In light of the outpouring of concern we’ve received from Quincy undergraduates,” the dean revealed in a house-wide email, “the OSL has engineered a cost-free strategy to continue to provide students with the same amenities afforded to the remainder of the College.”