AUBURN, NY—In an effort to promote a more vibrant intimate relationship with his wife, area husband David Im, 49, has organized Sex Week, seven days packed with events for the enlightenment and edification of the couple.
According to the official website Im created for Sex Week, programming began Sunday with “Aphrodisiacs 101”, featuring a panel of culinary experts from around the world.
“It’s such an exciting start to the week,” Im said in a statement released to the press. “The speaker fees were insane, but my wife will probably be too excited about being face-to-face with the aphrodisiac all-stars to notice.”
Sex Week will continue with discussion events, including “So About Your Old Cheerleader Uniform Just Packed Away in Storage…”, “Threeway?”, “If You Wanted to Blindfold and Pleasure Me, Name the Time and Place,” “Feet,” and “Threeway, Part II: Amanda from Your Pilates Class.” Programming is scheduled to culminate on Saturday with an excursion event entitled “Let’s Get a Sex Swing.”
Acknowledging the controversy surrounding his weeklong initiative, Im defended his advocacy. “Wake up, America—it’s 2015,” he stated repeatedly to reporters. “Even if some people aren't ready for Sex Week, I am. Some of us have needs!" Meanwhile, his wife could not be reached for comment.
As of press time, Im was spending the night on the living room couch.
Image source: Rennett Stowe/Flickr