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Area Man Shields White Chocolate Mocha From Cruel World's Judging Eyes

That purest of innocents, untouched and unspoiled by the world's injustice.
EVANSTON, IL--Clutching the poor little cherub in his hands as he exited Starbucks, area man Matthew Chung shielded his venti white chocolate mocha with extra whipped cream from the harsh and malevolent glare of an unkind world.
"Fear not, sweet angel!" the 29-year-old programmer cooed to his beloved beverage. "Here you can feel no pain, receive no taunts, face no threats from the shadow beyond. Remain innocent, little one, for winter's storms and summer's droughts cannot touch you in my care. Never shall you suffer the pangs of a broken heart nor face the calumnious slander of those wicked men who cannot appreciate your purity."
As Chung returned to his desk, he cradled that most delightful and innocent of morsels in the face of those who would judge it. Never would his manager mock it, asking if he wanted some coffee with his dessert. That pernicious cad Clark, who only drinks black cold brew, would never sneer at its perfection, unwilling to accept that which he could never love. All would be well. Innocence would prevail.
Yet alas, Chung would forget his pledge all too soon, abandoning his young ward as soon as the interns returned with that most coquettish strumpet, a Philly cheese steak from Quizno's.
© 2017