and entering

Area Woman Feels Rushed by Automatic Toilet

The toilet in question, is widely renowned as "unpredictable."

Cambridge resident Lena M. Rako was reportedly "confused and frustrated" after the toilet she was using flushed unexpectedly last Wednesday.

"I was just sitting there, definitely not done," said Rako, wiping water droplets off of her legs before pulling up slightly damp pants. "When suddenly, there it went. I just don't understand why it had to happen to me? What have I ever done?"

According to the toilet, Rako had, in fact, shifted her weight slightly when leaning forward to grab some toilet paper. "I'm just really sensitive," said the Drake CST744SG-01, "and I do what I'm told because WHOOOSHHH. Sorry about, there must be some--WHOOOSHHHHH. Yeah, no, okay, I see how this could be a problem."

Despite the setback, Rako plans to continue using restrooms. "I might save some of the longer stuff for home," she said, "but I think I can still pull of a quick tinkle, as long as I don't have to sneeze." 

CST744SG-01, responding to the slight tremor in her voice, added, "WHOOSH."   

As of press time, Rako was struggling to escape from the automatic revolving door in William James Hall.

© 2014