and entering

Goldman Sachs Executive Renounces Wall Street After Reading “The Rainbow Fish”

Above: The Commufish disdain to conceal their views and aims.

Thomas Crompton, 57, has abandoned his lucrative position within the Goldman Sachs investment banking firm, given away his home and possessions, and redistributed has massive fortune, shortly after being exposed to Mark Pfister’s 1992 children’s classic, The Rainbow Fish, for the very first time.

            Crompton allegedly encountered the book when it fell from the backpack of a small child he had chased away from his recycling bin. Crompton claims he felt an immediate connection with the Rainbow Fish, telling reporters that, in spite of his “dazzling, shimmering scales,” he, too, often felt like “the loneliest fish in the ocean.”

            “It all makes sense now,” said Crompton, skipping through Central Park and tossing handfuls of twenty dollar bills into the air from a burlap sack in his left hand. “The wise octopus was right! Sure, I’m no longer the wealthiest fish in the sea, but I’ll tell you this; I did discover how to be happy.”

             At press time, Crompton was reportedly playing pickup soccer with a gang of lovable street urchins, each with a beautiful, shining Visa credit card super glued to his arm. 

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