and entering

Bush Runs for Office, Trips

Bush, who is going to wake up with quite the bruise on his face
COLUMBIA, S.C.--Earlier today, Jeb Bush tripped on the sidewalk on the side of a major thoroughfare, tumbling to the ground in front of stunned spectators. Bush reportedly overslept and missed his limousine ride to a South Carolina primary results watch party, forcing him to jog 2.3 miles to his campaign headquarters.
Witnesses reported seeing a red-faced Bush running down the street wearing a crooked tie and holding a coffee in one hand at around 8:15 a.m. As he ran, the hot beverage intermittently splashed out of the cup and onto his shirt as Bush muttered “Shit, oh fuck, motherfucker” under his breath.
Sixteen minutes into this feat of athleticism, Bush's foot hooked the curb of the sidewalk. Arms flailing, he managed to take a few more off-balance steps towards the headquarters before falling onto his sweat-stained chest just outside of the South Carolina State House.

Reporters caught up with the out-of-breath former governor of Florida after the incident. “My legs felt like Jell-O around mile two, and the curb sort of just jumped up and clipped my foot,” said the brother of a former president and the son of another former president. “I knew I shouldn’t have hit snooze that fourth time.”

In an interview with Runner's World magazine, Bush claimed he would "not be running" again.


Image source: Gage Skidmore/Flickr

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