and entering

Colorado on Floods: “Well, It’s Different Than Fire, But I’m Not Sure It’s Better.”

Colorado: areas in red indicate "danger."

 After weeks of punishing rains, the great state of Colorado has finally had time to reflect on the disastrous floods that have killed at least ten residents. 

“Honestly, I was so used to being ravaged by horrific forest fires that [the floods] actually didn’t seem that bad at first.  But yeah, now I’m kind of tired of being wet all the time.” 

Colorado added: “Don’t get me wrong – this was a great opportunity for me to establish myself as something other than ‘Pot-State’ or ‘Jesus-Christ-My-Home-Is-Burning-To-The-Ground-And-The-Dog-Is-Inside-State.’  But ultimately, I think I learned that that’s just who I am.  I am a dry, densely-forested state.”

 While the flooding seems to have come to an end, Colorado remains confident that exciting new adventures are waiting just around the “Colorado River bend.”

“People live in me because they don’t want to live in a boring state!  And trust me: you will be terrified in the years to come.”

At press time, the Rocky Mountains were found to be full of venemous bats. 

© 2013