and entering

NFL Draft Dodgers Flee to Canadian Football League

Bob Dylan has announced plans to compose a relevant ballad.

The NFL draft will begin tonight and continue throughout the weekend as teams enlist college athletes to join their ranks. Many American young men will spend the weekend with phone in hand, dreading the possibility of being drafted. One such athlete is Mark McGoverny, a tight end from Oklahoma State projected in most mock drafts to be selected by the Cardinals with the seventh pick, who says, "Have you seen the guys in the NFL? They're huge. I don't want to go out there and get decked for a team I don't believe in. When I was in college, they couldn't draft me. But now I'm out, and I'm scared I'll get taken."

            There are players coming out of schools all across the country who echo the McGoverny's sentiments. The NFL is a dangerous place, and many of these athletes are at risk of being shipped out to desolate wastelands if picked by teams like the Lions or the Bills. This fear of being drafted has lead many college football players to burn their draft cards and flee the NFL for the Canadian Football League, where, to quote one player from the University of Texas who wishes to remain anonymous, "the NFL can't reach [them]."

            "I know others might not support my decision," says D'Jarvis Freemont, a Stanford running back who left the country to play for the Saskatchewan Roughriders, "but I just feel so much safer in the Canadian Football League. If I'd been drafted by the NFL, I probably would have gotten hurt. Here, not so much." McGoverny will play for the Edmonton Eskimos.

            Many ex-players think that the draft dodgers are an embarrassment to the country. Says Mitch Flavery, a nose tackle taken by the Steelers in the 1967 draft, "These boys today, they're soft. They're cowards.. Back in my day, if you were drafted, you went and served your team. Playing Canadian Football... it's just an embarrassment."

            However, despite the growing numbers of dodgers in recent drafts, some potential draftees still look forward to the opportunity to lay life and limb on the line in service of a greater cause. Says Paul Lapith, a left tackle out of Boston College, "I've been waiting my whole life to be eligible. My father was a Patriot, and his father before him was a Patriot, and I can only hope that I too might carry on that tradition. It just feels like the right thing to do."

            The NFL draft begins tonight at 8pm ET.

© 2013