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Obama Not Mad at Nation, Just Disappointed

President Obama contemplates the fate of Obamacare.
WASHINGTON -- As President Barack Obama prepares to hand off the presidency to businessman and birther conspiracy theorist Donald Trump, he sternly told the nation today that he's "not mad, just disappointed."
"Look, when I said my legacy was on the line in this election, I meant it," said Obama. "I didn't think you'd take this big of a shit on it, but now that you have, I want to let you know that I am capable of forgiveness." 
Flanked by Vice President Joe Biden, Obama made the announcement in the Rose Garden this afternoon. "Joe here was unable to run this time around, and although she's not perfect, we thought Hillary was qualified for the job," said Obama. "You couldn't give her, like, one term? Are things going that badly? I thought you liked how things were going!"
To the many Trump supporters who had previously voted for the current President, Obama added, "WHAT THE F-- come on, you can do this, Barry. I'm just having trouble, uh, understanding where you're coming from with this one. Please tell me what's wrong so I can better help you in the future." 
After the press conference, Biden and Obama embraced as they walked back to the West Wing. Reports confirm Biden had already picked up a six pack of Obama's favorite IPA from Trader Joe's as well as the entire DVD box set of 24.

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