After GOP presidential candidate Jeb! Bush posted a photo of a personalized handgun on social media with the caption “America” that was met with resounding support and rousing patriotism, Satire V sent its crack investigators to find out exactly what else Jeb! feels symbolizes the Land of the Free. These colors don’t run, baby:
Beyonce
Flyover states
Shrubberies
Supersonic 5.1-Channel Surround Sound
Stephen Colbert (And So Can You)
The Germanic languages
A lesbian couple named Amy and Erica
Billy Bob Thornton
Pizza, Chinese food, and Chimichangas
Applesauce
Queen Elizabeth II
Tango
Pistachio ice cream
Walmart
Irish Mist Whiskey
Canada
Pancakes
Corn
America Ferrera
A stray kitten
A Ford F-150
The green light
The crushing weight of failing to meet your family’s expectations.
© 2016
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