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Satire V38's MLB Preview

Wrigley Field, home of the 2016 World Series Champions, the Chicago Cubs. Shit- spoiler alert!
With the NFL season in the rearview mirror, the MLB season has finally begun! In anticipation of another great year of our national pastime, Satire V38 has targeted the strengths and weaknesses of some of the league's key teams:
 
Chicago Cubs
Strength: Depth at nearly every position.
Weakness: History of debilitating heartbreak.
 
New York Mets
Strength: The best rotation in baseball, and re-signed slugger Yoenis Cespedes.
Weakness: History of debilitating heartbreak.
 
Los Angeles Dodgers
Strength: Ace starting pitcher Clayton Kershaw.
Weakness: Ace starting pitcher Clayton Kershaw in the playoffs.
 
New York Yankees
Strength: The unrelenting force of inevitability.
Weakness: Payroll down to $221,574,999 from $222,453,008 just two years ago.
 
Kansas City Royals
Strength: Defending World Series champions.
Weakness: Oh, so they think they're better than us? Is that what they think? A fancy trophy makes them better than us or something?
 
Boston Red Sox
Strength: Tampa Bay Rays.
Weakness: Toronto Blue Jays.
 
Philadelphia Phillies
Strength: Maybe.
Weakness: Mostly.
 
© 2016
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