TORONTO, ONTARIO: University of Toronto researchers have discovered that despite the commonly held belief that "when that hotline bling/that can only mean one thing," a blinging hotline could in fact signify one of many different things.
"Sometimes it depends on the type of hotline," commented Dr. Graham Aubrey, the principal investigator on the study. "Across hotlines designated for pregnancy, running away, and poison control we found there to be only a .01% overlap between reasons for blinging. Curious."
Even within hotlines, researchers found that the reasons for each bling were varied. For example, on the teen help hotline, stated reasons for blinging could be anything from loneliness, to an eating disorder, to even "that thing where a girl gives you a hotline number and pretends it's her real number."
The scientists hope their findings will encourage hotline operators to be cognizant of the fact that sad chacha-influenced rap ballads are not reputable sources for scientific fact.
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