and entering

Iranian News Agency apologizes for publishing Satire V story

Ahmadinejad kindly declines the clumsy sexual advances of the Western media.

After the embarrassing incident in which a story by The Onion was published word-for-word, Iran’s official Fars news agency has once again run into trouble with satirical websites, this time publishing a story from SatireV entitled “Survey Reveals 69% of American Women Want to Deep-Throat Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.” 

The article contains a quote from made-up resident of Reading, Pennsylvania, Drewe Peacock saying, “I just find his turban so sexy. I wonder if he wears one down there.” Another fabricated person, Ivana Sukioff from Ashville, North Carolina, is quoted as stating that she loves “how hard he gives it to those naughty pro-democracy activists.” Fars highlighted the story as evidence that the power and allure of the supreme leader could “penetrate into the dark heartland of the evil imperialist nation.”

In a further intriguing twist to the story, it was found that Satire V had published no such article.   Satire V editor Gus Mayopoulos responded indignantly to Fars, saying: “It’s not that Ayatollah Khamenei isn’t extremely desirable – in the eyes of American women of course – but I don’t appreciate Fars stealing our story, especially when it wasn’t ours! Maybe I should speak to the Ayatollah himself about deep-throating… I mean the deep-throating article… I just want to tell him to ensure his country’s media adheres to American ethical standards! There’s nothing else going on, okay!”

Under increasing pressure, the head of Fars, Mr. Aylav Palajiyarizzam demanded that satirical websites be blocked in Iran, so as not to confuse Iranian reporters who weren’t used to the idea of the media “spreading lies.” He went on to say “Fars prides itself on its honesty and objectivity, demonstrated in its fair reporting of election results, and these recent incidents are part of yet another Zionist plot to discredit us.” Mr. Palajiyarizzam claims to have been well-schooled in the importance of academic honesty while studying at Harvard University, stating that his most valuable experiences occurred in a class called Gov 1310.

© 2012