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Assignment Unmuted: First Paper (4-6 pages) , ETHRSON 18: Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory

Assignment Unmuted: First Paper (4-6 pages) , ETHRSON 18: Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory. Assignment Unmuted: First Paper (4-6 pages) , ETHRSON 18: Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory. Assignment Unmuted: First Paper (4-6 pages) , ETHRSON 18: Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory. Assignment Unmuted: First Paper (4-6 pages) , ETHRSON 18: Classical Chinese Ethical and Political Theory.
 

UC To Spend Emergency Funds On Only Food Worse Than HUDS Strike Food

CAMBRIDGE, MA--In a landmark decision, the Harvard Undergraduate Council voted 214-1 to spend $1,100 of their Emergency Fund on Costco sandwiches for students. The sandwiches, which Costco advertises as "a wonderful serving of chicken mayo, egg mayo, roast beef and cheese, and ham and cheese sandwiches," is intended to provide a college-wide "healthy" study break for students sometime this week.
 

Winthrop Renovations Release Evil Demons From Netherworld

Winthrop Demon
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Spacious common rooms and asbestos-free walls may be a few months away, but the impacts of house renewal are already being felt in Winthrop, as renovations have transformed the site of Gore and Standish Halls into a portal to a demonic hellscape in another dimension.
 

Labor Chants That Are Also HUDS Puns

You want cake batter, treat us like we matter!

We cook your food, we make your meals, we just want a honey-graham-square deal!

No justice, no peas!

Low wages means no potato wedges!

If you want the buns, then cough up the dough!

You put us in a pickle, now make us a dill!

Strogaknock this off!

Sunflower butter doesn't make this better!

You want celery? We want salary! 

What's leafy, green, and good for you? Dollar bills and paychecks, too!

Your curly fries ain't curling when you strike with signs a-twirling. 

HUDS Union vs. Harvard: 9,475th Rock-Paper-Scissors Round Ends in Tie

CAMBRIDGE, MA—As the university confronts annoyed students, dining hall closures, and starving mice, Local 26 and the Harvard Management Corporation both played “scissors” in round 9,475 of the rock-paper-scissors-format negotiations.

Area Student Unwraps Cookie Very Very Loudly

Cambridge, MA — Glancing up nervously every now and then, area section kid Marc Teller was reportedly attempting to remove a chocolate chip cookie from its stubborn plastic wrapper. “You wouldn’t believe the looks I was getting from the nine other people in my ten-person Tuesdays at 3 SLS20 section. I always get a hankering for something sweet around two or three in the afternoon.

Dean Dingman Hands Out Wrong Batch of Brownies to Striking Workers

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Though Local 26 and the Harvard Management Corporation have yet to negotiate a new contract, the first few days of the HUDS strike have not been without their share of drama. A low point was reached at lunchtime today, as Harvard Dean of Freshman Thomas A. "Tommy D" Dingman '67 accidentally distributed the wrong batch of homemade brownies to striking HUDS workers.
 
"Aww fuck, dude," the self-proclaimed Dean of Phresh was heard exclaiming as he saw protesters asking each other if they've ever "looked at swai, like, really looked at it."

Area Student's Support For Strike Evaporates After Being Woken Up By Picket

CAMBRIDGE, MA - With the historic Harvard University Dining Services strike underway, many students have been eagerly declaring their support for the workers who have staffed campus dining halls continuously for decades. Among these supporters was Garrett West '19, who has been advocating his support for the strike since a notice was posted on his door in early September. However, West reports his backing for the walkout evaporated this morning, after he was rudely awoken by a march through campus at 6 AM

 

Let The HUDS Games Begin

Food, frozen food. Dirty dishes, plastic knives, cold chowder. These are the conditions that we now must face. Twelve dining halls have rebelled against the administration that paid them, loved them, protected them. We at University Hall have no tolerance for this kind of treachery.

Local 26 Possible Strike and Impact on College Dining

Dear Harvard College Students,

I write to you this afternoon with an update about dining on campus in the event that Harvard University Dining Service (HUDS) workers go on strike tomorrow. I know that many of you have mid-term exams in addition to other commitments and are concerned about the impact of a possible strike on your schedules and dining options. We validate and apologize for your struggles, which are definitely comparable to those of the workers striking, who merely face increased costs of living and healthcare in the context of a tumultuous global economy.

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