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Excerpts from Rejected Expos 40 Applications

This week, students across the College applied to and were rejected from Expos 40: Public Speaking Practicum. Satire V received an exclusive list of their applications, excerpted below.

...as a freshman, I believe...

Sophomore Sets Record for Number of VES Classes He Has Been Rejected From

Cambridge, MA--- Still in the midst of shopping week, Harvard sophomore Tom Stepps has been rejected from three hundred and fifty seven classes in the VES department. “I thought if I applied to a bunch of them and had a decade of hands-on experience and interest in the visual arts, I could get in,” explained Stepps, “but clearly I should have thought more carefully in the interview about which films have inspired me most.”