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Anscombe Society Launches “Kleenex Are for Noses” Campaign

The Harvard Anscombe Society has announced the beginning of its long-anticipated public awareness campaign to combat the perceived misuse of tissues on campus.

 “It has come to our attention,” said vice-president of the Anscombe Society Stacey Mingram during this morning’s press conference, “That certain students on campus are using Kleenex for something other than their intended purpose.”

 The Society claims that not only is such mishandling immoral in and of itself, but that it can also serve as a gateway to more extreme deviant behaviors.