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Area Bum Fails to Even Contribute Chromosomes to His Children

DNA

CAMBRIDGE, MASS. – Russell Marks, a local father of two, took absentee parenting to new heights when his wife realized that he neglected to pass any of his chromosomes onto their offspring.

“I mean, it was one thing when he missed Timmy’s first birthday party and left Lucy at the Gentlemen’s Club for five hours,” Marks’ wife Martha said. “But this is just ridiculous.”

Study Finds Humans Share More DNA with Lima Beans than Chimpanzees

Rockville, MD — Researchers at the J. Craig Venter Institute today announced that they had completed the sequencing of the genome of Phaseolus lunatus, better known as the lima bean. Preliminary findings, to be published in the journal Nature next month, seem to indicate that our species shares more genes with the South American legume than with chimpanzees.