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The Prophet Elijah Drank a Little too Much Wine this Passover Season

New York City, NY—The Prophet Elijah, a beloved traditional figure of the Jewish holiday of Passover and herald of the Messiah, reportedly had a little too much Manischewitz wine this Passover season, according to reports of Jewish families all over the United States and (to a lesser degree) Canada.

In a Satire V-NBC poll, the most common response to the question, “How would you describe the Prophet Elijah this year?” was “shwasted”. In contrast, in last year’s poll “serene” and “magnificent” tied for first place.