and entering

Sam Clark Retires From Public Life

Cambridge, MA - Undergraduate Council President-elect Sam Clark has officially announced his retirement from public life following his shocking victory in the recent UC elections. 

After a week in which the Harvard junior found himself launched into viral video fame and was elected to the highest office in the land, Clark has announced that he has decided to step back from public life, forsaking the spotlight in favor of a quiet life on his family's ancestral puppy farm.  

"At a certain point you just have to realize that you've done all you can and get out while you're still ahead," said Clark, whose appearance in the wildly popular YouTube video, "Harvard Tours Yale: The Game 2013" has brought him untold fame and success. 

Clark's surprise election to the UC followed a hugely successful grassroots campaign that garnered University-wide support for the candidate's issue-driven platform and has lead some to call him "the JFK of our generation".

 "I mean, once you've been on the front page of BuzzFeed, what else is there?" asked the concerningly thin President-elect, gazing wistfully into the distance. "I just need some time to figure this all out."

 At time of press, Clark was last seen riding his motorcycle across the John W. Weeks Footbridge, humming the Don McLean classic, "American Pie" as he disappeared over the horizon. 



© 2013