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Breaking

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inauguration

Hear Ye, Hear Ye: This Morn is the Coronation of Lawrence II

O fair citizens of Harvard Yard!
O munificent donors in woolen garb!
I am but a poor, mumps-ridden wretch, but today is a blessed day for me and all who congregate at this educational institution!

Gaze at the faire chair setup! Look upon the beauteous banners! Attune your ears to the lilting lutes on this luscious lawn! How sweet to be here on this morn!

Come one, come all! Rejoice in the festivities for our dearest, fearlessest leader!

Do not dawdle, make haste!

Obama Lip-syncs Oath of Office at Inauguration

WASHINGTON, D.C.– News has leaked that 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was in fact lip-syncing to a pre-recorded track during his second inauguration held earlier this month. A source in the White House staff reported that immediately after he left the platform, Obama could be heard “bragging to his bros,” Vice President Joseph Biden and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, at the urinal about pulling off the stunt.