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U.S. Cultural Landmarks Will Never Burn Down Because We Only Hit the JUUL

In the wake of the tragic burning of the Notre Dame de Paris Cathedral, Americans are breathing easy knowing that their cultural landmarks can never burn down because they “only hit the JUUL." 

“Now that we know that the fire did not involve foul play, I can only assume the blaze was the result of some idiot Frenchman chain-smoking too close to the Cathedral,” noted James Smith, 17. “Luckily, US cultural landmarks will never burn down because we only hit the JUUL.”