and entering


Hey, Remember Me?

by Hand Soap

Hi there. I know it’s been a while since you used me. And I know it’s been rough: you moved off campus and I’m left on the floor of your in-suite Eliot bathroom. For a while, I thought it was me. I was the problem, I was the source of your unhappiness. Then I see her. I see her ethyl-alcohol base and I can see right through her and through you. You picked hand sanitizer over me, and I’m not angry like at all. I’m just disappointed.  

BREAKING: Kamala Harris Insists She’s Been Listening to Lizzo Since She Was in Law School

LOS ANGELES, CA- When asked on the Ellen show who her favorite musician is, Kamala Harris, 54, immediately said it was Lizzo, 31, claiming that she has been her biggest fan since her final year at the University of California, Hastings College of the Law.