THE SKY -- After a 50-degree day followed a chlling weekend of below-zero temperatures, the Sun let off some steam and complained about Earth residents' whining.

“Frankly, it’s getting a little tiresome,” said the Sun, referring to mankind’s newfound tendency to glance nervously at the sky and make a lame joke about the perks of global warming instead of just enjoying the warmer day. In an exclusive interview with Satire V today, the bright center of the Solar System was visibly upset that no one was appreciating the warmer weather he had worked so hard on.