and entering


Oprah Comes Out As Illiterate

CHICAGO, IL- Today, revolutionary entertainment mogul Oprah Winfrey revealed her

self-reported “deepest, darkest secret” to a studio audience today during the taping of

her daily afternoon show.


“I’m the greatest,” she started off. “I have literally changed the world. I’m super

fucking rich, I have a boyfriend named Steadman (not to mention some Gayle on the

side), I give away cars to menopausal women on a regular basis, and,” she took a

moment of dramatic pause at this point, “I founded and currently run an earth-