NORTH POLE -- Protests have rocked the North Pole this week due to a number of recent changes made by its administration. Most notably, reindeer’s pay and living conditions have degraded significantly following redesign of ICE-CICLE run stables as advocated for by the McWhimsy consulting firm.

Dude, I remember when it was me and the reindeer going out every night to the bars, just living it up, crushing brews, and talking to chicks. We were a band of brothers man, and nobody told us what to do.

NORTH POLE – In an uncharacteristically glum Christmas Eve in the North Pole, Santa Claus admitted that for almost ten years he has been harboring growing doubts about the existence of children.

 Santa told reporters at the December 24^th press conference, "I've been reluctant to speak my mind on this issue, but I feel the time is right." Among other things, St. Nick revealed that no postal agency has ever delivered a single piece of mail to the North Pole.