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Ke$ha Marries, Decides to Become Housewife

LOS ANGELES, CA --  News has leaked that pop star Ke$ha held a secret wedding ceremony in Smith Baptist Church located in Scranton, PA, the hometown of her new groom, earlier this week. Court documents show that she is now legally the bride of a mild-mannered male nurse named Kirk Snaught, whom she met at her weekly Lamaze class.

“It’s something I can never explain. We were both not pregnant, both interested in Lamaze for recreational and educational purposes; I mean, I don’t know what it was, but I knew the connection was instant and deep.”