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Backup Government Up and Running

WASHINGTON, D.C.- Three days after the shutdown of the federal goverment, the United States emergency backup government is at last up and running.

Family Can't Agree on Pizza Toppings, Shuts Down

San Diego, CA: The Marshall family ceased all non-essential family functions today, following a shut down caused by the family's inability to agree on either a pepperoni or cheese pizza for delivery.

Under the shut down, signing of school permission slips, purchasing of food for the family's cat, trips to Grandma's house, and basic familial love will be suspended indefinitely.

"I'm sick of it," fumed Janet Marshall.  "My husband is pulling the same kind of brinksmanship that led to the family game night fiasco.  He needs stop holding this family hostage."

Shutdown Begins as Congress Fails to Agree on What the Fox Say

U.S. government agencies were ordered to close for the first time in more than 17 years after lawmakers stalemated over Republican efforts to block the Animal Calls Act (ACA).

President Obama's landmark bill - commonly referred to as ObamaCall - provides all American Citizens with the complete and absolute affirmation of the onomatopoetic sound made by or associated with a variety of woodland animals including all of the 12 species of Vulpes genus true foxes.