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Fox Grad Board to Recognize Females as 3/5ths of Member

Fox club graphic

CAMBRIDGE, MA - After months of long, drawn-out debate, the Fox Graduate Board announced today that they would be willing to provisionally recognize female members. In a landmark statement issued to SatireV, the president of the graduate board Philip P. Pondswater III announced that following months of deliberation on integration, the Fox would recognize female members as three fifths of a member. 

Fox Club Closed After "Cootie Outbreak"

44 JFK ST., CAMBRIDGE, MA – The graduate board of the Fox Club was forced to take drastic action towards their undergraduate members in recent weeks, resulting in the closure of the clubhouse due to what has been reported as a “cootie outbreak" following the admission of women into the club. This closure comes as a shock after female members were invited to join the club in what has been heralded as an “historic move.”

Shutdown Begins as Congress Fails to Agree on What the Fox Say

U.S. government agencies were ordered to close for the first time in more than 17 years after lawmakers stalemated over Republican efforts to block the Animal Calls Act (ACA).

President Obama's landmark bill - commonly referred to as ObamaCall - provides all American Citizens with the complete and absolute affirmation of the onomatopoetic sound made by or associated with a variety of woodland animals including all of the 12 species of Vulpes genus true foxes.