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Michelle Obama Moves Arrhythmically with Dusty Root Vegetable, Inspires Youth

WASHINGTON, DC—Youth everywhere are putting down their mayonnaise poppers and sugar injections and picking up bitter, vitamin C rich bulbs of turnip in response to FLOTUS Michelle Obama’s short, uncomfortable post to Vine last night.

Nevertheless, some critics remain skeptical of the efficacy of the first lady’s hip take on healthy living.