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Why I’m Buying SatireV II: the Sequel [NOT SATIRE]

Elon Musk speaking with SatireV logo on black screen behind him

I, Elon Reeve Musk (user verified because of subscription to SatireV Crimson), have purchased SatireV. You may be asking yourself, why are you doing this Elon? Why bother? You’re already so universally beloved by upper-middle-class dads, PS11 professors, and emerald mine stockholders? Why not spend some time with your eight kids?

Well, after my latest successful endeavor in social media entrepreneurship, I came to an epiphany. The next frontier is not Twitter. The next frontier is not space. The next frontier is Satire. More specifically, it is SatireV.  

Looking At Porn is Absolutely The Worst Thing I've Ever Done

Porn Star Ted Cruz
By Ted Cruz
My fellow Americans, I'll admit it: I made a mistake. I entrusted a member of my staff– I won't say whose, I mean which, member– with my Twitter account, and that person liked a tweet that contained porn. Now I'm going to apologize for this, which is definitely the worst thing I have ever done in my political career.