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elon musk

Why I’m Buying SatireV II: the Sequel [NOT SATIRE]

Elon Musk speaking with SatireV logo on black screen behind him

I, Elon Reeve Musk (user verified because of subscription to SatireV Crimson), have purchased SatireV. You may be asking yourself, why are you doing this Elon? Why bother? You’re already so universally beloved by upper-middle-class dads, PS11 professors, and emerald mine stockholders? Why not spend some time with your eight kids?

Well, after my latest successful endeavor in social media entrepreneurship, I came to an epiphany. The next frontier is not Twitter. The next frontier is not space. The next frontier is Satire. More specifically, it is SatireV.  

Breaking: Elon Musk Lands First Rocket on Rocket

Elon Musk on a Rocket

EARTH—In humanity’s latest effort to spit in the face of its creator, tech deity Elon Musk and space exploration firm Space X landed the first rocket on a rocket today.

“I’m tellin’ you guys, this is fucking dope,” said Musk, “The future of space travel requires a big, big rocket that can shoot up fucking high as shit into the heavens and then blast back down and land on another big, big rocket! Ohhhhhhhh yeah!”

Experts are saying this is the most significant achievement in the pa—

Breaking: Musk Lands First Rocket Rocket on a Rocket Rocket