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Top 10 Things to Do During Your Government Shutdown Furlough

1. Enjoy watching The West Wing, secure in the knowledge that a coked-up Aaron Sorkin came up with a better version of government than the real one.
 
2. Get a vasectomy.  There's no way you're going to want to bring a kid into this world.
 
3. Get all duked up for the 1st Annual Congressional Game of Marco Polo.
 
4. Call on God.  The number is 547-359-0021.  God will not pick up.  You can leave a message.
 
5. Go apple picking.
 
6. Get sick, and try to tell the hospital that you have insurance under the Affordable Care Act.  Just try.  I dare you.
 
7. Try to pick up a new skill you've never had!  Examples: foraging, hunting and gathering, archery, ceramics.
 
8. Go to an abandoned zoo to practice your new skill!  Examples: foraging, hunting and gathering, archery, ceramics. 
 
9. Think of all the things that make America the best country on Earth.  
 
10. Get a puppy.  Love her and cherish her.  She is your world now.
 
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