1. Enjoy watching The West Wing, secure in the knowledge that a coked-up Aaron Sorkin came up with a better version of government than the real one.
2. Get a vasectomy. There's no way you're going to want to bring a kid into this world.
3. Get all duked up for the 1st Annual Congressional Game of Marco Polo.
4. Call on God. The number is 547-359-0021. God will not pick up. You can leave a message.
5. Go apple picking.
6. Get sick, and try to tell the hospital that you have insurance under the Affordable Care Act. Just try. I dare you.
7. Try to pick up a new skill you've never had! Examples: foraging, hunting and gathering, archery, ceramics.
8. Go to an abandoned zoo to practice your new skill! Examples: foraging, hunting and gathering, archery, ceramics.
9. Think of all the things that make America the best country on Earth.
10. Get a puppy. Love her and cherish her. She is your world now.
© 2013
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