and entering

Waste No Paste

Toothpaste Tube Turns out to, Indeed, Be Infinite


CAMBRIDGE, MA— At first, Caroline Jenson thought it was just a fluke. But then, the toothpaste kept coming and coming, leading Jenson to the conclusion that the amount of toothpaste contained in the tube approached infinity. 

“When the tube lasted my whole Freshman Fall,” she admitted, “I thought it was just an unusually large tube. But then, I hit Junior Spring, and I knew something was up.”

“If I had known toothpaste tubes were infinite, I would have never taken that intolerably long trek from Adams to CVS,” explained Charlotte Mills, a three-time FOP leader.