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White Men

Nation Indifferent as VP Candidates Merge into One Middle-Aged White Man

FARMVILLE, VA -- After briefly dividing into separate entities for Tuesday night's vice-presidential debate at Longwood University, Democratic candidate Tim Kaine and his Republican opponent, Mike Pence, have merged back into a single middle-aged white man.
 
"We understand that some people have had difficulty telling us apart," said Kaine or Pence, depending on whom you ask. "So this seems more expedient."
 

White Straight Men Announce Merger With White Gay Men

After years of deliberation, the White Straight Men of the United States have announced their willingness to collaborate and share resources with the White Gay Men of the United States. Although the two groups have experienced tensions in the past, members of the former WSMUS have expressed regret for their past actions noting that progress is “inevitable.” Both groups have expressed optimism for the joint venture, which will henceforth be known as White Men Unltd.