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6 Tips To Perfect The Zootycall

Modern love!

1. Turn your zoom breakout session into a zoom makeout session

Remember you can’t spell quarantine without U R A Q T

2. Love is in the share

Ask to screenshare and have tabs open to “am I too good at sex” or “how to be less understanding and emotionally intelligent.” Be sure to act embarrassed, but not surprised.

3. Claim “host” ownership, then remove the professor and all the other students except your crush and pretend like it's destiny

The class won’t know whom to assume entombed the zoom room to doom.

4. Send Zudes

Pictures of zoobies, zooty, or zoochie never hurt...

5. Tell your crush how you feel

The best tip we could give you is to embrace honesty and confront your emotions like a fucking adult.

6. Beguile and Bamzoozle!

A little pity never hurt. Fake your death and hold a zumeral.

© 2020